Strong Connections

This strength includes having a network of positive, healthy relationships with people who care about you and your family and places where you and your family feel like you belong.

Being a parent is hard. Parents often feel happier and more confident when they …

  • Have friends, family, and others they can count on.
  • Feel cared for and listened to.
  • Know they can ask others for help or advice.
  • Find time to spend with friends and meet new people.
  • Live in a community where their family is welcome and supported.

Ready to learn more and support your child? Find an FRC near you.

Strong Connections can include…

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Feeling like your family is welcomed in the community

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Having caring, supportive adults in kids’s lives

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Staying in touch with friends by text

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Trying something new to make new friends

Woman reading a book to child

Surrounding kids with supportive, caring adults

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Turning off your devices when it’s time to connect

Strengths in Action…

There are no right answers. Thinking about these questions can help you understand your family’s strengths.

You live near where you grew up and still hang out with your childhood friends. But they don’t have kids, and it’s harder to do the same things. They seem upset when you bring your kids. You are thinking it’s time to make new friends who are also parents. How can your strengths help?
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• Feelings Matter – You know it’s good for your kids to spend time with other families who have children their age. It helps them play and learn how to get along with others. They also get to see you talking and spending time with other parents.
• Thoughtful Parenting – By talking with families you trust, you can learn a lot about how children grow and what helps in parenting
• Strong Connections – You know it’s important for you and your children to have friends in other families. Even when it’s hard to find the time or energy, you push yourself to go to new places and meet new people.
• Inner Strength – You know your kids need your attention, especially when they are little. It can be stressful when other adults also want your attention. Being with other families who have kids can also help you relax in a new way.
• Practical Help – Parent friends can help you with finding helpful resources for your family. They may also help care for your kids or give support, like bringing meals or giving rides when you need them.
Your family is having a hard time with money right now. Your teenage son wants to get a summer job to help and pay for some things he wants. He is your oldest child, so this is new for you. You’re not sure how to help him find a job. How can your strengths help?
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• Feelings Matter – You talk to your son about taking a chance and staying with it to get a job. You also tell him how to dress and act at the interview. You talk about important skills he will need, like listening, being on time, and trying his best.
• Thoughtful Parenting – It is hard for your son to miss camp and time with friends this summer. But you know he is ready to earn his own money and help the family, so you need to encourage him to take this important step.
• Strong Connections – You are talking to an older co-worker who tells you about a job that will be a good fit for your son. You encourage him to apply.
• Inner Strength –Your son doesn’t get the job your co-worker told you about. This is disappointing and hard for both of you. But you tell him to keep trying for other jobs. You hope that he will get a big boost of confidence when he does get a job.
• Practical Help- You know the father of your son’s best friend knows a lot about writing job applications and resumes. You encourage your son to ask him for help.
Is technology getting in the way of your relationship with your child?
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Putting the cell phone down is not just difficult for kids. Parents can also easily become districted by social media and text messages. It is also becoming harder and harder to ignore an after-hours message or email from work. However, parents’ use of media can cause them to react more slowly and pay less attention to children’s needs and lead to more conflict and less patience from parents. Distracted parenting can also affect young children’s learning and interfere in relationships with older children and teens. What can you do? Be aware of how much time you are really spending on your phone or computer. Take your work email off your devices, if possible. Create tech free time that you spend with your children and use your devices after your children are in bed.

Ideas and Tips

Here are some Ideas and Tips for Thoughtful Parenting.

What to Look for in a Friend

Making a friend can take time and effort. People need to build trust and respect little by little. Whether you like having a few friends or many, it’s important to look for people who have the qualities of a good friend. Look for someone who …

  • You like talking to and enjoy being around.
  • Is honest with you and loyal.
  • Cares about what’s going on in your life and what you say and feel.
  • Likes you for who you are.
  • Listens closely without judging you or changing the subject.
  • Feels comfortable sharing things about themselves with you.
  • Cheers you on and wants you to do well.
Apps to Meet Other Parents

We have apps for games, for shopping, and for exercise, so why not for meeting other parents? Apps can help you connect with other families nearby. These apps can help you meet people with kids the same age as yours, set up playdates, or just talk and share ideas.

  • Peanut helps moms meet based on shared interests and where they live.
  • Momco helps moms find other women for support, to set up playdates, and to learn about local events.
  • Hello Mamas is like Momco, but also helps moms of kids with allergies connect.
  • Wolf + Friends brings together parents of kids with special needs.
  • Dadapp helps dads meet and connect with other dads.
Look for Parent Cafés

Sometimes it can be hard to go from just meeting other parents to really getting to know them. Some communities offer parent cafés, which are a great chance to have real talks with other parents. You can also get helpful parenting ideas and learn more about the Five Strengths or Protective Factors.

  • The café usually begins with a meal or snacks.
  • The main part of parent cafés are table discussions that relate to the Five Strengths or Protective Factors.
  • Each table has a parent host to guide the talk.
  • Parents at each table choose one of three questions to discuss.
  • Parents move to three different tables during the café.
  • A trained leader makes sure everyone feels safe and welcome.
  • Parents get to know and learn from each other. Many come back to more cafes.

To find out where parent cafés are available, reach out to the closest Family Resource Center.

Being a Good Listener

Being a good listener is an important part of being a good friend. Listening closely and really paying attention helps build a strong friendship.

  • Put devices away so you can focus on the person talking.
  • Listen carefully without planning what you’ll say next.
  • Pause before you speak so you can think about what they said.
  • Repeat what you heard to check if you understood them.
  • Be kind, don’t judge, give too much advice, or change the subject.
Helping Your Child Make and Keep Friends

Your children count on you to teach them about healthy friendships, guide them, and help them connect with other kids. Here are some ways you can help with this important part of their lives:

  • Show them by having healthy friendships yourself.
  • Give them many chances to be with other children to practice.
  • Invite friends over for playdates often, even if it feels hard for you.
  • Watch how your child acts around others and kindly help them.
  • Talk about what your child likes in a friend and share what you like in yours.
  • Help your child understand that having a few good friends is okay.
  • Remind your child that friendships change over time and support them when that happens.
  • Ask your child’s doctor or a therapist for help if your child has ongoing trouble with friendships.
Ideas for Making Time for Friends

Finding time for friends can be hard when you are a parent. But staying connected with friends is important for your well-being. Here are some easy ideas to help you make time for friends while caring for your kids.

  • Meet friends for a quick coffee or snack when you can.
  • Go on walks with a friend and your kids.
  • Invite friends to family-friendly events or outings.
  • Use weekends or evenings to get together when kids are asleep.
  • Share meals with friends, like potlucks or cooking together.
  • Send quick texts or messages to stay in touch during busy days.
  • Plan fun activities for both kids and parents to enjoy together.
  • Take advantage of community events where you can meet and spend time with friends.
Where to Meet other Parents in Your Community

Meeting other parents can help you feel connected and supported. There are many places in your community where you can find other moms and dads. Here are some good spots to meet and make new friends. All of them offer free or low-cost activities.

  • Family Resource Centers focus on the needs and interests of families in their communities. They offer activities, programs, and resources for parents, both in groups and one-on-one. One popular activity is playgroups, where parents and children join a leader for play, songs, reading, and talking. Many strong friendships start at playgroups.
  • Libraries offer much more than books. They often have play areas for kids, story time, and other parent-child activities.
  • Children’s Museums have hands-on areas where kids can learn and play. They also often offer parent-child classes and sometimes parent cafés.
  • Parks have open outdoor spaces where kids and parents can spend time together. They are a great place to meet other families in a relaxed setting while children play and get to know each other.
  • Splash pads/pools are often found in parks and give kids a fun way to play. While children are busy, parents have more time to talk and connect with each other.

If you are looking for a way to make strong connections with more parents, check out the Family Resource Center section of this website and find an FRC near you.

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Explore the 5 Strengths

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