Practical Help
This strength includes the resources, supports, information, and opportunities that all families need and should be able to rely on, so that parents and kids can grow. It’s ok to ask for and accept help.
All families use some kind of support, such as:
- Depending on friends, neighbors, and family.
- Getting help with childcare, transportation, or basic needs.
- Using community resources like schools, parks, hospitals, or job opportunities.
- Relying on rules, laws, and common ways of doing things in society.
Ready to support your child? Find an FRC near you.
Practical Help can include…
Taking help when it’s offered
Knowing where to find resources for your family
Finding out about a new job opportunity
Taking help when it’s offered
Searching for the resources you need
Advocating for your family
Strengths in Action…
There are no right answers. Thinking about these questions can help you understand your family’s strengths.
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• Thoughtful Parenting – You visit other childcare centers, but they are too far, have too much screen time and not enough play time. You decide to keep looking, even though there aren’t many options.
• Strong Connections – One of your neighbors offers to do childcare in her home if you are willing to help her get started. You reach out to families from your old childcare to share that your neighbor has openings.
• Inner Strength – You attend and speak out at community meetings about the childcare shortage in your area, even though this is not something you ever thought you would have the confidence to do.
• Practical Help – You organize friends, family, and neighbors to help get your neighbor’s house and yard set up for her new day care.
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• Thoughtful Parenting – You can no longer pay for or drive your kids to their favorite activities. The piano teacher agrees to move lessons to Saturdays and shorten lesson time to reduce the cost. You find rides to soccer practice with a teammate’s parent, and you pause swimming lessons.
• Strong Connections – One of the dads from your kids’ school hears them talking about what happened. He offers to let your kids stay at his house after school each day until your partner can pick them up. You feel thankful, and your kids are excited.
• Inner Strength – You feel stressed about not having a second car. You and your partner plan how to save money for a new car over the next six months. You also agree that you will use the car on weekends since your partner uses it during the week.
• Practical Help – You remember that your retired neighbor has a car and extra time, but it’s hard for her to do yard work. You offer to take care of her yard if she can drive you to and from work.
Ideas and Tips
Here are some Ideas and Tips to try for Practical Help.
Getting and Giving Help Is Part of Being Human
Being independent and able to care for your family is important, but being independent does not mean never needing support, including from the laws and structure of the society we live in. Every person has certain basic needs: to feel safe, to have food, shelter, and clothing, to feel loved, to feel they belong and to believe they have worth, and they matter. Families should be able to meet these needs for their children. And every parent should get help to care for their family. Even if they don’t always get it, they still deserve it. According to researcher and storyteller, Brene Brown, “We don’t have to do it by ourselves; we weren’t meant to.
Are Parents Feeling More Stressed Than Ever?
If you are feeling like it is harder to be a parent these days, you are not alone. Many parents today are feeling very overwhelmed. In a recent survey, almost half (48%) of parents said their stress feels like too much most days. This is almost twice as many as other adults (26%). The U.S. Surgeon General has called this a public health crisis. Here are some of the reasons why many parents are struggling:
- Money Stress: The cost of food, housing, childcare, and school keeps going up. Many families are struggling to keep up. This can lead to worry, sadness, and feeling hopeless.
- Work and Family Balance: Parents are working hard at their jobs and at home. Taking care of kids, cleaning, and working at the same time is exhausting.
- Not Enough Support: Many parents don’t have paid time off from work or affordable childcare. This makes life even harder.
- Expectations of Others: Many parents feel pressure to be perfect. They often feel judged and try to meet what others expect, even if those expectations are not realistic.
Find Resources and Support
It can be hard to know where to find what you need. These resources will be able to direct you to what is available in your community if they don’t offer it themselves.
Places to Go
Family Resource Centers: FRCs have caring staff and free or low-cost services, such as fun family activities, play groups, parent education classes, places to hang out, toy lending, and connections to other resources in the community. They often offer things like books, car seats, group meals or snacks, craft items, games, diapers, or gently used kids clothing.
Libraries: They not only provide books and information, but offer programming for all ages, such as story times, kids’ activities, book discussions, art shows and classes, music events, writing classes, job assistance, career or legal guidance, computer training, and tutoring. They have meeting spaces, access to internet and technology, and publicize other community-wide events. Best of all, these services are free and available to all.
Community Centers and Park Districts:Â Many Wisconsin communities have organizations or groups that coordinate and/or provide space for sports activities, community education classes, arts activities, outdoor spaces and parks, and fun community events.
Websites
211Â is for everyone! Check out the website or call the free 24/7 helpline to talk to a real person who can help you find local programs, services, and support.
Well Badger Resource Center: The website, www.wellbadger.org, offers health information and referrals online as well as by phone, chat, email, or text. Services include support for pregnancy and parenting, mental health, substance misuse, financial help, health care coverage, special health care needs and much more.
Wisconsin Wayfinder:Â Find support for families of children with delays, disabilities, special health care needs, and mental health conditions.
Regional Resources
Child Care Resource and Referral Agencies CCR&Rs provide up-to-date lists of childcare providers with openings near you and information on how to select the best quality fit for your family.
Community Action Agencies: These organizations connect people to services such as job training, heat and housing support, food for pantries, health care, legal services, safety programs, parenting classes, and childcare referrals.
Things You Can Give Your Child That Money Can’t Buy
While money can help meet many needs, there are important ways parents can support their children that go beyond what money can provide. There are essential things that only parents can give that help children feel loved, important, and build strong bonds that last a lifetime.
One on One Time: Children crave attention, especially from parents.
A listening Ear: Children need parents to really listen and try to understand them.
A Role Model: Children need parents to show them how to be kind, have healthy habits, behave responsibly and live their values.
Shared Interests: Children often love to learn a new skill, read a favorite book, or do an activity that a parent enjoys.
Rules and Guidance: Children need to respect boundaries and behave appropriately in order to get along with others. They need a safe space to make mistakes and learn from them.
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5 Things to Say When Asking for Help
These strategies can make others more open to helping you, especially people you know. They show respect, build trust, and make it easier for others to say yes.
- Share how you have already tried to help yourself: People are more likely to help if you’ve already tried to solve the problem yourself. Tell them what you’ve done so far. Keep it short and simple so they understand quickly.
- Explain how you used their advice in the past: People are more likely to support you if they know you will follow through. If you go back to someone for guidance, let them know you used their advice and are thankful for it.
- Consider a “small ask first” or “big ask first” Approach: In the first, you ask for a small favor first, then follow up with a bigger one; in the second, you ask for a big favor first, then agree to a smaller one.
- Be Direct: Make sure you say exactly what you want. That way the person knows whether they are able to give what you are asking for and you get what you need.
- Give help: If you offer and if you give help when asked, people will be more open and try harder to give you help and you will have an easier time asking.
7 Steps to Ask for Help
Turns out there is science of asking for help. Try these five steps when you need something:
- Â Prepare before you ask:Think about what you specifically need or want to know. Find out more information about the problem or potential solutions first.
- Stick to the point: Explain what you have already tried. Be respectful but not apologetic.
- Make it personal:Tell enough details of your situation so that the person you are asking can connect and understand how you are feeling.
- Consider the timing:Â Be sure to ask at a time and in a place where it is easiest for that person to give you help rather than when they are distracted or overwhelmed by other things.
- Be persistent: If you don’t get what you need the first time, ask again, or find someone else to ask.Â
- Make sure the timing is right before asking: Before asking for help, think carefully about the best time to do it. Choosing the right moment can make people more willing and able to support you.
- Remember, giving help makes the helper feel good. Providing help to strangers typically boosts the mood of the helper. By asking someone for help, you’re actually giving that person the opportunity to boost their mood.
It’s Okay to Ask Kids for Help Too
Taking care of a family takes a lot of time and energy, but you don’t have to do it all by yourself. Everyone can help, including kids. Chores don’t just help parents—they help kids too. Chores show children they are important and that they have something to offer. Chores also teach life skills like doing things on their own, being thankful, and learning to work hard. Here are some simple ways to get started and make it easier:
- Call it something positive: The word chores sounds boring or negative. Try saying family jobs or family contributions
- Start young: Even toddlers can help with small tasks. It might take longer at first, but it builds good habits that save time later.
- Make jobs age-appropriate: Choose tasks your child can handle. Think about the timing too—don’t ask when your child is tired or when you’re in a rush.
- Be clear about what you want: Say exactly what needs to be done and how. Talk about chores at regular family times. A chart can help remind everyone.
- Get kids’ input: Ask how they feel about their jobs. Family meetings are a good time to listen and plan together.
- Create a simple routine: Make a list or chart that shows what to do and when. Use pictures or words. Hang it up where everyone can see it.
- If kids resist: Complaining or dragging their feet? Ask yourself—Is the job too hard? Were rules not followed before? Look for what’s getting in the way.
- Use “when–then” statements: Say things like, “When you finish your job, then you can play.” Time with you can be the best reward.
- Show empathy: It’s okay to say, “I know you don’t feel like doing this. It’s not always fun.” That shows you care.
- Don’t argue: After you’ve listened, don’t get pulled into a fight. You can ignore the complaining and stay calm.
- Say thank you: Let kids know you notice their effort. This also teaches them to thank you for what you do.
- Don’t expect perfection: Kids will forget, take longer, or do it wrong sometimes. Be patient—but stick with it.
If you need practical help for yourself or your family, go to the Family Resource Center section of this website and look for an FRC in your area.
